INT. STU’S HOME OFFICE – DAY
STU (30), an attractive man with short hair and a beard, sits at his computer, looking from monitor to monitor. He looks tired and drinks a diet Rockstar in between spurts of frantic typing. Empty cans litter the floor and free spaces on the desk. His phone rings. He smiles as he sees who it is.
Sup bro?! Haven’t heard from you in
INT./SPLITSCREEN MESSY DISCGUSTING APARTMENT – DAY?
STU’S BRO (27), a slightly overweight young man wearing a sports jersey and a backwards hat, sits at a filthy computer playing World of Warcraft. Empty pizza boxes and cigarette butts litter every surface of the dark and dingy bedroom.
Yeah life is busy. You know how it is.
Yeah? What have you been up to?
Same ‘ol same ‘ol… work and Warcraft.
Dude! I’m totally gonna get glad this
That’s cool, I haven’t been that into
PVP since TBC.
Yeah, dude, did you transfer off the
server? I totally never see you on
Um… no, but I haven’t had an active
WoW account in like a year and a half.
Oh. Totally thought I saw your priest
on the other week. What have you been
Working. Working really hard. Me and
Aenon wrote some screenplays, I’m
working on a bunch of other stuff
too. A novel… haven’t had crap for
time to play WoW.
It’s all good. Pandas are gay as hell
Are they? How do they reproduce?
That’s a good one, dude. Anyway, so
you’ve been writing? Cool. When are
the movies coming out?
Stu’s Bro gets up and walks to his kitchen. While talking on the phone he rummages through the fridge for food.
The industry doesn’t really work that
way. First you have to–
You making good money though, right?
Not really. See, it’s a long process–
So why do it?
Stu looks confused.
Stu’s Bro picks up a jug of milk and opens the top. He smells it, makes a face indicating that the milk is clearly sour, then puts it back in the fridge.
STU’S BRO (CONT’D)
So, I have this great idea for a
It’s science fiction. Does that sell?
Yeah, scifi is big.
Cool. So, I’ll basically set it up
really simple. There’s these aliens,
right? And we’re like invading their
world, like its humans that are the
invading evil aliens, bro.
So Starship Troopers.
Stu’s Bro finds an old pizza box with a single slice left in it. He puts it on the counter, and while talking, approaches the trash can.
No! Check it. There’s this one dude
that doesn’t buy the official story.
He makes contact with the aliens and
finds out they’re actually totally
cool, like primitive, but totally
cool. They’re like, in touch with
nature, like humans used to be.
The trash can is full. He places the pizza box in a pile of rubbish next to the bin.
So, they’re like Native Americans?
Stu’s bro picks up the pizza slice and begins eating it.
(with his mouth full)
They already made that movie. It’s
No! This is different.
Nobody is going to remake Avatar.
Okay, then get rid of the Aliens.
Just make it Indians or something.
That movie’s called Dances with
Never heard of it.
Stu looks shocked.
Well, good luck with that. Let me
know how it goes, I’d be happy to
read your first draft for you.
No, I was thinking I just give you
all the details, and you write the
screenplay, then we split the
I don’t think so.
Hmn. Do you have any idea how much
work it takes to actually write a
Dude, I’ve seen screenplays. 90% of
the page is blank space. Ea-sy. It’s
the idea that’s valuable!
Not really. I already have a queue of
like eight story ideas of my own that
I still haven’t gotten to, and none
of them are remakes of overrated
movies featuring Smurfs.
Yeah, but none of them are million
dollar ideas, either!
Alright, fine. Why don’t you write up
the details in a treatment and e-mail
it to me?
Bro, if I could write, why would I
need you? Sorry man, I think my queue
just popped. Gotta go!
Stu’s Bro hangs up the phone. Stu facepalms.