Stu’s Bro has an Amazing Idea

INT. STU’S HOME OFFICE – DAY

STU (30), an attractive man with short hair and a beard, sits at his computer, looking from monitor to monitor. He looks tired and drinks a diet Rockstar in between spurts of frantic typing. Empty cans litter the floor and free spaces on the desk. His phone rings. He smiles as he sees who it is.

                     STU
         Sup bro?! Haven’t heard from you in 
         forever!

INT./SPLITSCREEN MESSY DISCGUSTING APARTMENT – DAY?

STU’S BRO (27), a slightly overweight young man wearing a sports jersey and a backwards hat, sits at a filthy computer playing World of Warcraft. Empty pizza boxes and cigarette butts litter every surface of the dark and dingy bedroom. 

                     STU’S BRO
         Yeah life is busy. You know how it is.

                     STU
         Yeah? What have you been up to?

                     STU’S BRO
         Same ‘ol same ‘ol… work and Warcraft. 
         Dude! I’m totally gonna get glad this 
         season.

                     STU
         That’s cool, I haven’t been that into 
         PVP since TBC.

                     STU’S BRO
         Yeah, dude, did you transfer off the 
         server? I totally never see you on 
         anymore.

                     STU
         Um… no, but I haven’t had an active 
         WoW account in like a year and a half.

                     STU’S BRO
         Oh. Totally thought I saw your priest 
         on the other week. What have you been 
         doing?

                     STU
         Working. Working really hard. Me and 
         Aenon wrote some screenplays, I’m 
         working on a bunch of other stuff 
         too. A novel… haven’t had crap for 
         time to play WoW.

                     STU’S BRO
         It’s all good. Pandas are gay as hell 
         anyway.

                     STU
         Are they? How do they reproduce?

                     STU’S BRO
                (laughing)
         That’s a good one, dude. Anyway, so 
         you’ve been writing? Cool. When are 
         the movies coming out?

Stu’s Bro gets up and walks to his kitchen. While talking on the phone he rummages through the fridge for food.

                     STU
         The industry doesn’t really work that 
         way. First you have to–

                     STU’S BRO
         You making good money though, right?

                     STU
         Not really. See, it’s a long process–

                     STU’S BRO
         So why do it? 

Stu looks confused.

Stu’s Bro picks up a jug of milk and opens the top. He smells it, makes a face indicating that the milk is clearly sour, then puts it back in the fridge.

                     STU’S BRO (CONT’D)
         So, I have this great idea for a 
         story.
                     STU
         Um, okay.

                     STU’S BRO
         It’s science fiction. Does that sell?

                     STU
         Yeah, scifi is big.

                     STU’S BRO
         Cool. So, I’ll basically set it up 
         really simple. There’s these aliens, 
         right? And we’re like invading their 
         world, like its humans that are the 
         invading evil aliens, bro.

                     STU
         So Starship Troopers.

Stu’s Bro finds an old pizza box with a single slice left in it. He puts it on the counter, and while talking, approaches the trash can.

                     STU’S BRO
         No! Check it. There’s this one dude 
         that doesn’t buy the official story. 
         He makes contact with the aliens and 
         finds out they’re actually totally 
         cool, like primitive, but totally 
         cool. They’re like, in touch with 
         nature, like humans used to be.

The trash can is full. He places the pizza box in a pile of rubbish next to the bin.

                     STU
         So, they’re like Native Americans?

Stu’s bro picks up the pizza slice and begins eating it.

                     STU’S BRO
                (with his mouth full)
         Yeah, totally.

                     STU
         They already made that movie. It’s 
         called Avatar.

                     STU’S BRO
         No! This is different.

                     STU
         Nobody is going to remake Avatar.

                     STU’S BRO
         Okay, then get rid of the Aliens. 
         Just make it Indians or something.

                     STU
         That movie’s called Dances with 
         Wolves.

                     STU’S BRO
         Never heard of it.

Stu looks shocked.

                     STU
         Well, good luck with that. Let me 
         know how it goes, I’d be happy to 
         read your first draft for you.

                     STU’S BRO
         No, I was thinking I just give you 
         all the details, and you write the 
         screenplay, then we split the 
         profits.

                     STU
         I don’t think so.

                     STU’S BRO
         Why not?

                     STU
         Hmn. Do you have any idea how much 
         work it takes to actually write a 
         screenplay?

                     STU’S BRO
         Dude, I’ve seen screenplays. 90% of 
         the page is blank space. Ea-sy. It’s 
         the idea that’s valuable!

                     STU
         Not really. I already have a queue of 
         like eight story ideas of my own that 
         I still haven’t gotten to, and none 
         of them are remakes of overrated 
         movies featuring Smurfs.

                     STU’S BRO
         Yeah, but none of them are million 
         dollar ideas, either!

                     STU
         Alright, fine. Why don’t you write up 
         the details in a treatment and e-mail 
         it to me?

                     STU’S BRO
         Bro, if I could write, why would I 
         need you? Sorry man, I think my queue 
         just popped. Gotta go!

Stu’s Bro hangs up the phone. Stu facepalms.

END

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